Ardian+Biography+Assessment

**__ LEVEL 4 BIOGRAPHY INDIVIDUAL FEEDBACK & ASSESSMENT. __**  1. ** Choose someone to write about. ** You could write about an author, a movie star, a war hero, a member of the community, an athlete or even a family member. Someone who has displayed some form of courage either personally, or for someone or something else. Fred Hollows was an inspired choice Ardi. A very courageous and giving man who epitomized giving to others!  2. ** Find out as much as you can about the person you’ve chosen. ** Read newspaper reports, do a Google Search, read encyclopedia articles and books. Conduct interviews if the person is someone you know. Use two or more sources to gather facts to cross-reference your information. Can you contact this person or their Association? Ardi you have a wonderful ability to complete thorough research and then put it eloquently into your own words. I am so impressed with how you manage to say so much but keep it extremely succinct and to the point.

3. ** Write a title. ** The title could include the name of the person you’re writing about. You could write it in a way that is creative. A catchy slogan/headline for example. Your title was simple but effective Ardi. I thought you may have liked to centre align it and increase the size. I can also show you some websites that allow you to embed some very creative and funky titles! Come and see me!  4. ** Write an introduction ** that grabs the reader’s attention that clearly states who you’re writing about. Simply outstanding - I was engaged from the opening line!   5. ** Write interesting paragraphs that include information about the person’s childhood. ** Birthplace and the area where he or she grew up? Family? Schooling? Who did he or she look up to? What has this person achieved? This section was covered very well also. Well done muscles.  6. ** Write interesting paragraphs that include information about the courage this person has shown. THIS IS YOUR MAIN FOCUS. ** What has this person faced and how have they overcome it? How have they managed this before during or after? How can you qualify HOW they have shown courage? I thought you answered most of these questions sensationally. The only area I would suggest to work on is unpacking how he showed courage in the community and through love. You need to elaborate on why YOU think he did this. 7. ** Write a conclusion ** that includes your opinion about why it is important to learn about this person. What can we learn from the courage this person has shown? How can the example of this person’s courage help us to achieve our own dreams or take a look at ourselves? Can you relate to this person? If so, how? I think this section must have skipped your attention Ardi. I re-read your biography but could not find where you addressed these questions. I still thought you ended the Biography very well. Another tip to enhance your wiki page is learning how to embed photos and videos. I think you could have included some of these and earned yourself some extra marks! Having said that i THOROUGHLY enjoyed learning about Fred Hollows through your eyes!

**Biography Assessment: Courage** Name: Ardian Strybosch Submitted on time: YES / no Score: 21/28 - Excellent work Ardi :) Live interview (taped or in person). Transcribed/audio interviews. Research beyond conventional means (National Archives). ||
 * **CRITERION** || **3.25** || **3.50** || **3.75** || **4.0 +** ||
 * **Research** || Research restricted to one site. Some text changed into own words with understanding. || 2 research sites used. Able to write text into own words to show understanding. || 2 or more research sites used and cross-referenced. Able to write text into own words to show a deep understanding. || 2 or more research sites used and cross-referenced. Able to write text into own words to show a deep understanding with the ability to justify (explain) further. ||
 * **Introduction** || Includes the person’s name within a short paragraph. || Includes the person’s name within a paragraph using interesting vocabulary. || Includes the person’s name within a paragraph using interesting vocabulary designed to capture the reader’s interest. || Includes the person’s name within a paragraph using interesting vocabulary designed to intrigue the reader further. ||
 * **Content** || 2 – 3 paragraphs of factual information. || 2 – 3 paragraphs of factual information, also includes some personal stories. || 3+ paragraphs of factual information, also includes personal stories relative to the act of courage. || 3+ paragraphs of factual information, personal stories relative to the act of courage, including the impact before, during and after. Includes own opinion. ||
 * **Conclusion** || Conclusion includes similar information to the introduction || Conclusion sums up the content of the subject. || Conclusion sums up the content of the subject with information regarding the ongoing journey of the subject. || Conclusion sums up the content of the subject with information regarding the ongoing journey of the subject, including a relevant statement or quote. ||
 * **Bibliography** || Bibliography does not include all sources & is not in alphabetical order. || Bibliography includes most sources & shows some organisation. || Bibliography includes all sources & shows organisation. || Bibliography includes all sources, is in alphabetical order & includes Title, date, date researched, pp #, publication details. ||
 * **Presentation** || Information mostly completed. || Information mostly completed with more detailed answers. || Information mostly completed with detailed answers & includes photos, media articles or diagrams. || Completed with detailed answers & includes photos, media articles or diagrams with extra information. ||
 * **Organisation** || Some planning, drafting, proof reading, editing and revising shown. Kept work in order, asked questions to keep on track || Planning, drafting, proof reading, editing and revising shown by using a model of other’s writing or a tool such as a mind map. Monitored and checked progress. Organised and persistent. || Updated planning, drafting, proof reading, editing and revising shown. Use of peers, teachers and adults as learning resources. Checking goals. Seeks support where necessary. || Updated & improved planning, drafting, proof reading, editing and revising shown. Study routines & self-management of tasks shown through following instructions for learning goals. ||
 * **Going Further** ||  ||   ||   || Emailing or writing to the subject.