Jayme+Biography+Assessment

**__ LEVEL 4 BIOGRAPHY INDIVIDUAL FEEDBACK & ASSESSMENT. __**  1. ** Choose someone to write about. ** You could write about an author, a movie star, a war hero, a member of the community, an athlete or even a family member. Someone who has displayed some form of courage either personally, or for someone or something else. Jayme it is obvious that you have a great amount of respect for Virginia and her family. I think it is wonderful that you chose someone you knew who had shown you courage by the way they live their life. 2. ** Find out as much as you can about the person you’ve chosen. ** Read newspaper reports, do a Google Search, read encyclopedia articles and books. Conduct interviews if the person is someone you know. Use two or more sources to gather facts to cross-reference your information. Can you contact this person or their Association? Obviously you had the ability to go and speak to Virginia but I am so impressed that you completed further research about her condition so you could understand what she goes through. 3. ** Write a title. ** The title could include the name of the person you’re writing about. You could write it in a way that is creative. A catchy slogan/headline for example. Your title stands out but come and see me and I will show you a few websites where you can embed some AMAZING titles to really add to your work.  4. ** Write an introduction ** that grabs the reader’s attention that clearly states who you’re writing about. All your written work is outstanding. I loved the way you introduced your Virginia and it made me really want to know more. Great effort.  5. ** Write interesting paragraphs that include information about the person’s childhood. ** Birthplace and the area where he or she grew up? Family? Schooling? Who did he or she look up to? What has this person achieved? All covered in detail and it is obvious you have referred back to the rubric to ensure you have all areas completed. 6. ** Write interesting paragraphs that include information about the courage this person has shown. THIS IS YOUR MAIN FOCUS. ** What has this person faced and how have they overcome it? How have they managed this before during or after? How can you qualify HOW they have shown courage? I thought you have possibly gone into more detail about your thoughts. You have answered each section but they were brief responses and I know what you are capable of. 7. ** Write a conclusion ** that includes your opinion about why it is important to learn about this person. What can we learn from the courage this person has shown? How can the example of this person’s courage help us to achieve our own dreams or take a look at ourselves? Can you relate to this person? If so, how? You ended the Biography very well Jayme. I'm going to say the same thing i always say to you - Step it up!! You are more than capable as this Biography shows but there are elements you could do to take the next step. If i was you I might have filmed myself interviewing Virginia, got a photo of her and her family or added a link to the Narcolepsy website so people could learn more. I know you have the potential to do all of this and more - take risks Jayme (They almost always pay off!)

**Biography Assessment: Courage** Name: Jayme Scheele Submitted on time: YES / no Score: 24/28 - Impressive as always but so much room for you to take that next step :)
 * **CRITERION** || **3.25** || **3.50** || **3.75** || **4.0 +** ||
 * **Research**

Personal Research

Full Marks || Research restricted to one site. Some text changed into own words with understanding. || 2 research sites used. Able to write text into own words to show understanding. || 2 or more research sites used and cross-referenced. Able to write text into own words to show a deep understanding. || 2 or more research sites used and cross-referenced. Able to write text into own words to show a deep understanding with the ability to justify (explain) further. || Live interview (taped or in person). Transcribed/audio interviews. Research beyond conventional means (National Archives). ||
 * **Introduction** || Includes the person’s name within a short paragraph. || Includes the person’s name within a paragraph using interesting vocabulary. || Includes the person’s name within a paragraph using interesting vocabulary designed to capture the reader’s interest. || Includes the person’s name within a paragraph using interesting vocabulary designed to intrigue the reader further. ||
 * **Content** || 2 – 3 paragraphs of factual information. || 2 – 3 paragraphs of factual information, also includes some personal stories. || 3+ paragraphs of factual information, also includes personal stories relative to the act of courage. || 3+ paragraphs of factual information, personal stories relative to the act of courage, including the impact before, during and after. Includes own opinion. ||
 * **Conclusion** || Conclusion includes similar information to the introduction || Conclusion sums up the content of the subject. || Conclusion sums up the content of the subject with information regarding the ongoing journey of the subject. || Conclusion sums up the content of the subject with information regarding the ongoing journey of the subject, including a relevant statement or quote. ||
 * **Bibliography** || Bibliography does not include all sources & is not in alphabetical order. || Bibliography includes most sources & shows some organisation. || Bibliography includes all sources & shows organisation. || Bibliography includes all sources, is in alphabetical order & includes Title, date, date researched, pp #, publication details. ||
 * **Presentation** || Information mostly completed. || Information mostly completed with more detailed answers. || Information mostly completed with detailed answers & includes photos, media articles or diagrams. || Completed with detailed answers & includes photos, media articles or diagrams with extra information. ||
 * **Organisation** || Some planning, drafting, proof reading, editing and revising shown. Kept work in order, asked questions to keep on track || Planning, drafting, proof reading, editing and revising shown by using a model of other’s writing or a tool such as a mind map. Monitored and checked progress. Organised and persistent. || Updated planning, drafting, proof reading, editing and revising shown. Use of peers, teachers and adults as learning resources. Checking goals. Seeks support where necessary. || Updated & improved planning, drafting, proof reading, editing and revising shown. Study routines & self-management of tasks shown through following instructions for learning goals. ||
 * **Going Further** ||  ||   ||   || Emailing or writing to the subject.