Luke+C+Biography+Assessment

**__ LEVEL 4 BIOGRAPHY INDIVIDUAL FEEDBACK & ASSESSMENT. __**  1. ** Choose someone to write about. ** You could write about an author, a movie star, a war hero, a member of the community, an athlete or even a family member. Someone who has displayed some form of courage either personally, or for someone or something else. Luke you chose someone who not a lot of people know about. She is definitely s woman who has shown tremendous courage. 2. ** Find out as much as you can about the person you’ve chosen. ** Read newspaper reports, do a Google Search, read encyclopedia articles and books. Conduct interviews if the person is someone you know. Use two or more sources to gather facts to cross-reference your information. Can you contact this person or their Association? You included well researched information about Vivian and I like that you used other sources than the Internet.  3. ** Write a title. ** The title could include the name of the person you’re writing about. You could write it in a way that is creative. A catchy slogan/headline for example. Your title was colourful but I would have included the name of the person your biography was about. I can show you a website that allows you to make some very eye-catching headings.   4. ** Write an introduction ** that grabs the reader’s attention that clearly states who you’re writing about. Your decision to cover each criteria with a different link was unique. I liked your introduction and the way you made it very personal. I am glad you chose Vivian and that you found her story inspiring.   5. ** Write interesting paragraphs that include information about the person’s childhood. ** Birthplace and the area where he or she grew up? Family? Schooling? Who did he or she look up to? What has this person achieved? You chose to dot point this section which is ok but the rubric asks you to write interesting PARAGRAPHS. Remember to follow the rubric to gain the best possible chance of full mark s.   6. ** Write interesting paragraphs that include information about the courage this person has shown. THIS IS YOUR MAIN FOCUS. ** What has this person faced and how have they overcome it? How have they managed this before during or after? How can you qualify HOW they have shown courage? Luke you definitely wrote about how she showed courage and the struggles she faced. This section was clear and concise and the only area i want you to work on is building more detail into what you are writing. You have a habit of shortening your written work when i know you could actually write a lot more.   7. ** Write a conclusion ** that includes your opinion about why it is important to learn about this person. What can we learn from the courage this person has shown? How can the example of this person’s courage help us to achieve our own dreams or take a look at ourselves? Can you relate to this person? If so, how Your conclusion unfortunately missed the mark. This needed to be far more detailed and share more of your thoughts and opinions. The questions in the rubric are there as a guide for what you need to write about.

**Biography Assessment: Courage**

Name: Luke Cosgriff Submitted on time: YES / no Score: 18/28 - Good effort Luke :) Live interview (taped or in person). Transcribed/audio interviews. Research beyond conventional means (National Archives). ||
 * **CRITERION** || **3.25** || **3.50** || **3.75** || **4.0 +** ||
 * **Research** || Research restricted to one site. Some text changed into own words with understanding. || 2 research sites used. Able to write text into own words to show understanding. || 2 or more research sites used and cross-referenced. Able to write text into own words to show a deep understanding. || 2 or more research sites used and cross-referenced. Able to write text into own words to show a deep understanding with the ability to justify (explain) further. ||
 * **Introduction** || Includes the person’s name within a short paragraph. || Includes the person’s name within a paragraph using interesting vocabulary. || Includes the person’s name within a paragraph using interesting vocabulary designed to capture the reader’s interest. || Includes the person’s name within a paragraph using interesting vocabulary designed to intrigue the reader further. ||
 * **Content** || 2 – 3 paragraphs of factual information. || 2 – 3 paragraphs of factual information, also includes some personal stories. || 3+ paragraphs of factual information, also includes personal stories relative to the act of courage. || 3+ paragraphs of factual information, personal stories relative to the act of courage, including the impact before, during and after. Includes own opinion. ||
 * **Conclusion** || Conclusion includes similar information to the introduction || Conclusion sums up the content of the subject. || Conclusion sums up the content of the subject with information regarding the ongoing journey of the subject. || Conclusion sums up the content of the subject with information regarding the ongoing journey of the subject, including a relevant statement or quote. ||
 * **Bibliography** || Bibliography does not include all sources & is not in alphabetical order. || Bibliography includes most sources & shows some organisation. || Bibliography includes all sources & shows organisation. || Bibliography includes all sources, is in alphabetical order & includes Title, date, date researched, pp #, publication details. ||
 * **Presentation** || Information mostly completed. || Information mostly completed with more detailed answers. || Information mostly completed with detailed answers & includes photos, media articles or diagrams. || Completed with detailed answers & includes photos, media articles or diagrams with extra information. ||
 * **Organisation** || Some planning, drafting, proof reading, editing and revising shown. Kept work in order, asked questions to keep on track || Planning, drafting, proof reading, editing and revising shown by using a model of other’s writing or a tool such as a mind map. Monitored and checked progress. Organised and persistent. || Updated planning, drafting, proof reading, editing and revising shown. Use of peers, teachers and adults as learning resources. Checking goals. Seeks support where necessary. || Updated & improved planning, drafting, proof reading, editing and revising shown. Study routines & self-management of tasks shown through following instructions for learning goals. ||
 * **Going Further** ||  ||   ||   || Emailing or writing to the subject.