Ryan+Biography+Assessment

**__ LEVEL 4 BIOGRAPHY INDIVIDUAL FEEDBACK & ASSESSMENT. __**  1. ** Choose someone to write about. ** You could write about an author, a movie star, a war hero, a member of the community, an athlete or even a family member. Someone who has displayed some form of courage either personally, or for someone or something else. Ryan I love that you chose your Dad and I think you are both very brave to share his story. I think if anyone could be an example of courage it would be your Dad.  2. ** Find out as much as you can about the person you’ve chosen. ** Read newspaper reports, do a Google Search, read encyclopedia articles and books. Conduct interviews if the person is someone you know. Use two or more sources to gather facts to cross-reference your information. Can you contact this person or their Association? Obviously you already know a fair bit about your Dad but I imagine the process of sitting down and talking about this would have been very emotional. Your Biography is very personal and inspiring. Thank you for sharing it with us.  3. ** Write a title. ** The title could include the name of the person you’re writing about. You could write it in a way that is creative. A catchy slogan/headline for example. Where was your big title - Mark Brindley Rhino? Make sure you read the rubric so you can cover all the criteria champion!   4. ** Write an introduction ** that grabs the reader’s attention that clearly states who you’re writing about. Such a short introduction but it is SO powerful Ryan. Often there is no need to write huge amounts to capture the readers attention. This is definitely one of those occasions.  5. ** Write interesting paragraphs that include information about the person’s childhood. ** Birthplace and the area where he or she grew up? Family? Schooling? Who did he or she look up to? What has this person achieved? This was an area you must have forgotten to cover Ryan. You must must must read the rubric - it is so important muscles.  6. ** Write interesting paragraphs that include information about the courage this person has shown. THIS IS YOUR MAIN FOCUS. ** What has this person faced and how have they overcome it? How have they managed this before during or after? How can you qualify HOW they have shown courage? This section was covered in great detail Ryan. You have given a very clear description of how your amazing Dad has shown courage. The only area I would like you to work on is being prepared to write more about WHY YOU think your Dad is so courageous. That is the part about qualifying how your person has shown courage.  7. ** Write a conclusion ** that includes your opinion about why it is important to learn about this person. What can we learn from the courage this person has shown? How can the example of this person’s courage help us to achieve our own dreams or take a look at ourselves? Can you relate to this person? If so, how This needed to be more detailed Rhino. You briefly spoke about it but I would have loved to hear more about your feelings on this criteria. It is always important to have a powerful conclusion that leaves the reader in no doubt about what you think.

**Biography Assessment: Courage** Name: Ryan Brindley Submitted on time: YES / no Score: 15/24 - Good work Rhino :) *Obviously your research was with Dad. 3 Marks || Research restricted to one site. Some text changed into own words with understanding. || 2 research sites used. Able to write text into own words to show understanding. || 2 or more research sites used and cross-referenced. Able to write text into own words to show a deep understanding. || 2 or more research sites used and cross-referenced. Able to write text into own words to show a deep understanding with the ability to justify (explain) further. ||
 * **CRITERION** || **3.25** || **3.50** || **3.75** || **4.0 +** ||
 * **Research**
 * **Introduction** || Includes the person’s name within a short paragraph. || Includes the person’s name within a paragraph using interesting vocabulary. || Includes the person’s name within a paragraph using interesting vocabulary designed to capture the reader’s interest. || Includes the person’s name within a paragraph using interesting vocabulary designed to intrigue the reader further. ||
 * **Content** || 2 – 3 paragraphs of factual information. || 2 – 3 paragraphs of factual information, also includes some personal stories. || 3+ paragraphs of factual information, also includes personal stories relative to the act of courage. || 3+ paragraphs of factual information, personal stories relative to the act of courage, including the impact before, during and after. Includes own opinion. ||
 * **Conclusion** || Conclusion includes similar information to the introduction || Conclusion sums up the content of the subject. || Conclusion sums up the content of the subject with information regarding the ongoing journey of the subject. || Conclusion sums up the content of the subject with information regarding the ongoing journey of the subject, including a relevant statement or quote. ||
 * **Bibliography**

N/A || Bibliography does not include all sources & is not in alphabetical order. || Bibliography includes most sources & shows some organisation. || Bibliography includes all sources & shows organisation. || Bibliography includes all sources, is in alphabetical order & includes Title, date, date researched, pp #, publication details. || Live interview (taped or in person). Transcribed/audio interviews. Research beyond conventional means (National Archives). ||
 * **Presentation** || Information mostly completed. || Information mostly completed with more detailed answers. || Information mostly completed with detailed answers & includes photos, media articles or diagrams. || Completed with detailed answers & includes photos, media articles or diagrams with extra information. ||
 * **Organisation** || Some planning, drafting, proof reading, editing and revising shown. Kept work in order, asked questions to keep on track || Planning, drafting, proof reading, editing and revising shown by using a model of other’s writing or a tool such as a mind map. Monitored and checked progress. Organised and persistent. || Updated planning, drafting, proof reading, editing and revising shown. Use of peers, teachers and adults as learning resources. Checking goals. Seeks support where necessary. || Updated & improved planning, drafting, proof reading, editing and revising shown. Study routines & self-management of tasks shown through following instructions for learning goals. ||
 * **Going Further** ||  ||   ||   || Emailing or writing to the subject.